Is it stupidity?  Is it ignorance?  Or is it just me?  Is anyone else of the opinion that the world is a much ruder place these days? 

The reason I ask is because I’ve just been to the cinema.  After driving along roads where a number of cars didn’t bother to indicate (rude I would have said), pedestrians walked into the road without looking (rude and potentially suicidal), where staff grunted monosyllabically (definitely rude) and where other patrons talked, ate and generally made more noise than they should have (rude and bloody annoying). 

I’ve also come to conclusion that I must have below par psychic powers because again people wanting to get past me to an empty seat decided not ask me politely to move but merely to stand there until I had telepathically figured out that was their wish. 

What’s wrong with just asking?  But no, they stand there like idiots waiting for you to move or, even worse, they try and blunder past while carrying drinks the size of dustbins, popcorn containers you could fit a horse in and nachos that smell as if they’ve just prematurely exited a body from either end! 

Once ensconced in their seats they sit there with their picnic, chomping, chewing and slurping their way through a film with no regard for those around them.  I’m still waiting for one of these bovine couples to spread out a table cloth before they begin.  It wouldn’t surprise me.  They then proceed to talk or use their mobiles throughout the film.  No one needs their mobile switched on during a film.  No one has a job that important. 

I’m sure even Barack Obama switches his mobile off before he goes to the pictures.

Why the hell do cinemas sell such noisy food? Surely the ideal fare for these fine establishments would be marshmallows, freshly baked bread and chewy sweets sold in plastic bags (to reduce rustling).  Instead it seems that everything you can buy at the grossly overpriced concessions stand is designed to register high on the Richter scale when it’s consumed.  If you want to eat then surely the place to be is a restaurant, not a cinema.

So, all of you grazers, do us all a favour, rent a DVD and stay at home next time.  Failing that, at least do us the favour of choking on your nachos. 

But do it quietly.

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