Starting with 2005, it will be remembered for two things… the Arctic Monkeys and Peter Kay. Now, I quite like both these things; The Arctic’s brought indie rock to the streets and Peter Kay made a catchy song. And all in the name of charity. Good man. Peter Kay has managed 3 number ones this decade which is pretty amazing from a bloke from Bolton who has one GCSE.

What I’m trying to get at, is that music went a bit dumb in the second half of the decade. The Arctic Monkeys were really good I’ll admit that, but the rest of it? Blehhh.

 “Whatever People Say What I Am, That’s what I’m Not” became (briefly) the fastest selling British debut of all time shifting 360,000 copies in its first week- eventually beaten by Leona Lewis’s “Spirit.” Rightfully lauded by the critics as “new saviours of rock and roll” (can you see a pattern emerging here?) the shy boys from Sheffield looked onto a winner.

Genre bending soon came into play, but not the really cool kind… it was the sort which lurches around, clinging to every new scene. Emo! Dance/Grime! Pop! Yes even a god old fashioned pop song became alternative, it was weird. People with broad musical palates got quite into Lily Allen “because she didn’t take herself seriously and her songs are funny.” Light hearted the songs may have been, but they were never going to break records.

 Dance music and grime collaborated and gave Dizzee Rascal and Calvin Harris a number 1. Grime went pop and gave Tinchy Stryder & N-Dubz a number 1 (literally). We saw an 80’s revival courtesy of “La Roux” and “Ladyhawke” and plenty of bands reforming. Led Zeppelin, The Police, The Sex Pistols, Pixies, Take That, Pink Floyd, Rage against the Machine and James have all reunited in the past 5 years. And all because of money. Sad but true.

It was like we had run out of our own good ideas, and was hell bent on nicking other decades work. When the industry realised that old classic bands reforming wasn’t going to cut it (we’re not all idiots) they took some 80’s shtick and plodded some computer bleepery over it. And that’s not just Crystal Castles- everyone was at it.

Of all the comebacks, it’s fitting that The Beatles returning as pixilated wonders was the best. The HD mop-tops were simply selling fans the same songs over again in “Beatles Rock Band” via the Xbox. How fitting for our times. Still, new Beatles fans is not bad thing.

Nowadays, people’s attention has been eroded by Iphone apps, MySpace and it’s very difficult to get people to you know, concentrate!

 Cue grown men wailing and selling their songs to American medical shows; “Landfill Indie” was a bland swash of white boy bands who inexplicably dominated the charts for years. Scouting For Girls, Snow Patrol, James Blunt, Keane James Morrison, The Pigeon Detectives, were all pretty awful, and to the great relief of many a cynic, were (pretty unbelievably) displaced by 80’s electro which rounded off the decade rather surreally.

As they say “art imitates life” and the last 10 years have definitely been surreal at times.

With the X Factor, Pop Idol “et all” allegedly dominating people’s consciousness it’s easy to say that the bland balladry had brainwashed Britain. It actually hadn’t, as Florence and the Machine and Paulo Nutini were the best selling female/ male artists of 2009 respectively. I think most of the cynicism is the way that the winners and runners up are handled by Mr Cowell, and although they rarely achieve long lasting success, people just want the artist to have more of a share of the success. People’s perception of talent shows is that they are a vehicle for Simon Cowell, and when the contestants don’t do what they want him to do, he ditches them without a hint of remorse.

I’m also proud to say that I haven’t backed Rage Against The Machine for Xmas Number 1, and the reason is, is that when all the dust has settled on this frenzied week of people sitting at home and clicking “buy Killing In The Name Of for 29p” they’ll realise that it was all a waste of time. Christmas should have a Christmas themed song, not an angry (admittedly good) song about anger and a nihilistic existence. Just mix em together!

Live 8 was a big day for charity and music as well. We’ve seen several high profile concerts which have used music to get their message across. Live earth and Live 8 all used big name bands and artists, and you could argue that music changed the world from 2005-2010. It helped give bands publicity. That’s it.

Bands in the noughties were like little white dots (or noughts if you will), cool and stylish on first impressions, but with no substance to them. There was nothing to grab onto, nothing to set us apart from other decades. From what had started so optimistically had just simply trudged through, picking up anything that was catchy and chucking it into the charts.

Even Dizzee Rascal himself abandoned his own grime roots and went pop in 2008/2009 shifting a vast quantity of records in the progress. Pin-Up boy status beckoned, and Dizzee grabbed it with both hands, grinning his way through 2009 via every magazine cover possible. Tinchy Stryder’s admittedly catchy tunes also permeated the British consciousness. It was fresh, I guess, but it never had that initial impact that Oasis had in 1994 with “Definitely Maybe” and “What’s the Story Morning Glory” which stirred up a nations youth.

 2009 was also the year when Liam threw his toys out of the pram for the very last time, allegedly fifteen minutes before they were to appear on stage. The last five years has seen the rise and rise of the “f**ked up star.” Amy Winehouse, Robbie Williams and Lily Allen seemed happy to be seen as irresponsible and lurching individuals. Ms Allen has since cleaned up her act appearing on the “Test match special” and Newsnight. She must be clean then.

However, it definitely wasn’t all bad. MIA’s two album’s “Kala” and “Arular” gaining critical acclaim and with her music making an appearance in the decade’s most lauded film “Slumdog Millionaire” it’s perfectly acceptable to see MIA as an artist of the decade.

For an alternative music lover, all the good stuff seems to come from XL records, Golden Silvers, Vampire Weekend, MIA, The White Stripes, Friendly Fires, Sigur Ros, and Thom Yorke are all signed by the record company.

God Bless XL!

 

Michael Somerville’s songs of the decade (second half)

·         Amy Winehouse- Rehab

·         MIA- Paper Planes

·         MGMT- Time to Pretend

·         Rihanna- Umbrella

·         Friendly Fires- Jump In the Pool

·         Rage Against the Machine- Killing In The Name

·         Bon Ivor- Skinny Love

·         Gossip- Standing In the Way Of Control