My Heart was Broken by a Man Called Lancome…

I was 15 when I discovered liquid liner; Lancome Art Liner, 1.4 ml, £15.50. Only for special occasions though, or one special occasion: my cousin’s wedding. I’d spent the last two years watching my mum apply it, with a shaky right hand, resulting in a rather uneven line. I was determined to be better at it. For weeks before the wedding I’d sneak the liner from my mom’s make up case, waiting until she was busy with the ironing, engrossed in neighbours or best of all, at work. Then I’d creep into the bathroom armed with her eye make up remover and practice. It took weeks. But I did it. A straight line.

I was in love. With liquid liner. Aged 15 I was banned from wearing it, but I did. Sneakily, waiting until I was alone and quickly washing it off once I heard the car in the drive. I loved the way it made my eyes look bigger and put a sparkle in them I knew wasn’t there.

When I started college I was allowed to wear make up and my straight line evolved into a flick and suddenly I had huge Nefertiti-esque eyes.

Changing my eyeliner never occurred to me, I was convinced it was the best on the market, so convinced I made my friends all lovers too and forced them to spend £15.50 on the delicate little brush, with the handle that wasn’t so small that your hand slipped, nor so fat that it made you clumsy. It was perfect.

Lancome discontinued their Art Liner a year ago. I felt like a part of me had died. How dare they discontinue this perfect product? Did they think that women like the inconvenience of finding just the right liquid liner and then have it discontinued so that they have to waste a lot of money on finding another product, only to realise that it will never be as good as the first?! I was outraged. In typical me fashion I wrote to Lancome, only to receive several weeks later, a letter apologising and saying that they discontinue their products in order to introduce better ones. Oh and recommending the replacement product Traceur Matic. Of course I’d tried this by then only to discover it was rubbish and  simply a more expensive version of Rimmel’s Professional liquid liner, 2.5 ml, £4.88.

I had no choice; my face didn’t look the same without my flick and accentuated eyes. Eyeliner: to be or not be, was the question. There was never a doubt, I was going to have to make do with the £4.88 Rimmell. At least it was cheap.

The Rimmel look was never quite the same, the line never as straight, the flick never as curved, or too curved. Or one was curved and the other was fat. I never got it quite right. Gone were my Nefertiti eyes and instead I had drunken lines and black patches where I’d had to take it off and re-apply. 

Debenhams, 20% off sale online! I’m browsing half heartedly through the make up products, knowing I’ve lost a love to the land of discontinued and hoping maybe I can find a new lip gloss to compensate for my eyes and there it is, sitting on the page, under liquid liners, next to Liner Design, Traceur Matic gone without a trace and my beloved Art Liner, 1.4 ml £19.11, back where it belongs. I don’t know how, nor do I care, all I know is that I’m ordering 15.