They say the health care in Martinique is non pareil. This is because of course Martinique is not a tropical isle in the Caribbean, but a department of France, and thus part of French social care, with its attendant fantastic hospitals and doctors ever ready to jump to your aid.
I now know this to be true.
My children, ever challenging, lived up to form yesterday when one of them casually tossed the beloved and newly-purchased snorkelling mask of his elder brother into the swimming pool. The deep end. Which, being French, is naturally equally challenging and reaches 3.5 metres, or around 10 feet. “Oh Maman!” went up the cry. “Cherche le masque!” And I, never wanting to seem weak in front of my hatchlings, duly dived into the pool. At 6 feet I felt very unhappy. At 7 feet I felt rather like Tanya wotsit, that woman who goes underwater on a ‘weighted sled’, a more horrendous fate which I cannot imagine. At 9 feet I gave up. “Oh Mummy, you failed!” they shouted. Alright, so I did it again, and again. Eventually, feeling like an extra from Das Boot, I gave up, and got the mask out by the dramatically dull method of using a long-handled broom to sweep it out. But not before my ears had started complaining.
In the morning I was almost deaf. The water had done something wierd to my ears. By that night one was hurting somewhat and I felt like my entire head was encased in a sock. There was nothing for it.
“Je voudrais le medcin,” I announced to the reception at our lovely hotel, the Hotel Bateliere. 20 minutes later, one turned up. Knocking on my hotel bedroom door!
Alright, he looked a bit like one of The Monkees, but Docteur Phillipe Bauchet clearly knew his stuff. No, he did NOT go down the classic French route and give me an enema, but he managed everything else. Pulse, blood pressure, heart beat, throat, ear and eye inspection. And FOUR prescriptions - antibiotics, the lot. I have a small ear infection caused by diving down THREE atmospheres. Yep, every metre down is one atmosphere of pressure on your ear. The children looked mightily impressed as Dr Bauchet imparted this information. He left us all feeling rather amazed. And ever so slightly poorer - the cost of Dr Bauchet’s personal visit could have bought my son TEN new snorkeling masks. Never mind. My ears are ringing with pleasure at my bravery.
