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How to avoid disasters on a family holiday
24th August 2009 | 3 comments | 0 people like this
Waving us off, my wise old dad had one piece of advice. “Just look after the children”, he said. Yes, well. We haven’t had any total disasters, but blimey, have we come close. But now that we are on the last leg of our journey, I feel ready to share tips to anyone else barmy enough to go long-haul for a couple of months with a tribe of children.
I was... -
The most beautiful men in the world. Official.
6th August 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
Its official. Polynesian men are perfect. I know, I haven’t done an exhaustive study of the masculine Homo Sapiens and let us not forget I am 15 years married. But still, having been here two weeks I can let the womenfolk of England know that they are missing a trick, staying up there on the other side of the world.
Come and see these men, girls. They sail boats! They play... -
July 14 in the jungle
16th July 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
So, its July 14th but instead of seeing how the French do it in the Champs Elysees, here we are 8000 km away in the French Department of Guyane, which is in South America. Plus, we aren't even in the capital Cayenne, because we messed up our booking plans. And forgot about the French National Day. Which means that we were in the middle of the Marais de Kaw, a...
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Docteur, Docteur!! Au secours!
7th July 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
They say the health care in Martinique is non pareil. This is because of course Martinique is not a tropical isle in the Caribbean, but a department of France, and thus part of French social care, with its attendant fantastic hospitals and doctors ever ready to jump to your aid.
I now know this to be true.My children, ever challenging, lived up to form yesterday when one of them casually tossed... -
The scene for THAT Bacardi ad
1st July 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
Do you remember that VERY irritating Bacardi ad which seemed to play during every single ad break in cinemas from about 1978-1992? The one which showed a group of impossibly fashionable, carefree young things doing 'ordinary' things in the setting of..er..the Caribbean? The thinking behind this was obviously that if you take a sip of Bacardi while sitting in somewhere like Croydon, you will immediately be spiritually transported to the...
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Why you must always take your case with you
29th June 2009 | 1 comments | 0 people like this
So much for my Hand Luggage Experiment. “I will only take hand luggage,” I announced to everyone prior to our rather long journey around the French overseas territories. “Because it’s so much quicker and there is no chance of losing it.” However as the hand luggage-sized case somehow ended up involving four pairs of shoes, several books and two swimsuits, it became wholly unsuitable for lobbing up in the overhead...
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The trouble about jukeboxes
23rd June 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
The trouble about jukeboxes is that everyone wants them. Take the cargo of the Transpacific, a giant ship plying the line from Hamburg to Quebec in May 1971. Swathed in the fog in the North Atlantic, it ran aground on the tiny Isle aux Marins. The crew were taken off for safety, but the precious cargo was left on board. Twenty four hours later and many households in the archipelago...
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What is great about isolation?
22nd June 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
So why come to the tiny community of Miquelon, population 600? I'm on the fence about this. When we arrived, the charming patronne of our hotel, the Motel de Miquelon, immediately took two of the children off to the local school, total student body an awesome 32, where they were popped into classes. Straight away. No nonsense about health and safety or rubbish like that. They can speak, between them,...
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Do freebies make a difference?
22nd June 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
Well, of course, getting things for free IS rather delicious. Because it allows you to spend your money on other things. Here in the remote archipelagao of St Pierre et Miquelon we have been rather remiss at scoring freebies for hotel rooms, flights etc. Which on the plus side, allows you to be super-critical of everything, since you are a normal customer. On the negative side, it means you must...
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Rosie Millard and her battles with French loos
17th June 2009 | 0 comments | 0 people like this
Alright well they say the word 'loo' comes from the French 'chasse l'eau' but last night in the tiny French departement of st Pierre et Miquelon, 4000 miles away from Paris in the Atlantic, it was the loo water which was chasing us. Coming back up the U bend, to be honest. "What is in the loo, Maman," asked 9-year old Gabriel as he visited the toilette in our Butlins-esque...
CONTRIBUTOR
Rosie Millard
Rosie Millard lives in central London, and is a feature writer, columnist and general all-round hack. Having been Arts Correspondent at the BBC for 10 years, she is now at the Sunday Times where she interviews the influential and famous, with a special sideline in celebrity chefs. She is equally at home on radio and TV and can often be found at the BBC chatting away on the Jeremy Vine show or Breakfast News, or at Sky doing pieces on Sky Arts. She has four children and a husband who cooks like a dream. Having spent the last two decades setting up this cosy arrangement, she, Mr Millard and the children are currently on a giant trip around the French overseas terretories where the spiders are as big as the croissants and the Tricoleur flies over coral reefs. She plays the piano and is a slightly obsessive long-distance runner.
