Something For The Weekend 21

1. By the time this is online, former Prime Minister Tony Blair (aka our Tone) will have spent six – hopefully very uncomfortable – hours in the ‘red hot chilli pepper seat’ at the Iraq Inquiry being grilled by a committee headed by Sir John Chilcot.

His long overdue appearance – which, incidentally is expected to lumber taxpayers with a £250,000 security bill – comes at the end of a week during which Sir Michael Wood (then the Foreign Office’s legal adviser) said he warned ministers, including our Tone and Jack Straw (then Foreign Secretary), time and time again that without the approval of a UN Security Council resolution war with Iraq would constitute a ‘crime of aggression’ in international law.

And that was not just Sir Michael’s opinion – it was apparently the view of every senior legal adviser in the Foreign Office. So, how on earth can our Tone – and his cronies, for that matter – justify his/their action/s in light of this damning evidence? Something to look forward to, eh!

Oh yes, neither must we forget the demise of UN weapons inspector Dr David Kelly, found dead in mysterious circumstances only days after being named as the source of a BBC story claiming evidence against Iraq had been sexed up to justify military action.

A subsequent inquiry (note: no inquest, where facts would be made public) chaired by Lord Hutton, concluded that Dr Kelly committed suicide. However, the very nature of the method he allegedly used to kill himself – cutting the ulnar artery in his left wrist with a blunt garden knife after taking painkillers – immediately sparked an outcry among the medical profession.

“It’s very difficult to commit suicide by cutting the ulnar artery, and it is extremely unlikely that he could have lost two-and-a-half pints of blood that way,” said Dr Michael Powers QC, one of 13 doctors campaigning to overturn Lord Hutton’s findings and force an inquest.

He faced an uphill struggle earlier this week  (on Monday), when it emerged that Lord Hutton had imposed a 70-year gagging order on vital evidence, including the post mortem results, immediately after the inquiry. Even more bizarrely, no-one seemed to have been aware of the order until now.

“The surprising thing to me is that if this report supports the conclusion that the medical cause of death was suicide, why does it need to be locked up for 70 years? asked Dr Powers.

“If it supports other means of death, then why wasn’t this evidence investigated by the Hutton inquiry?”

A very good point – and one that the Iraq Inquiry should home in on as a matter of urgency. A few pertinent questions aimed in the right direction could soon put an end to all speculation.

However,  in a dramatic move on Tuesday Lord Hutton agreed to make medical records – including post mortem papers – of Dr Kelly’s death available to the group of 13 doctors and their legal advisers, but insisted the 70-year public ban remained in place to protect family members from  ‘further and unnecessary distress’.

Dr Powers, a former assistant coroner, welcomed the news cautiously. “We are delighted with this new information, but we want assurance that we are going to see everything and not just selected records. None of us are in the least bit interested in making anything public that can cause distress to the family,” he said.

“If as a consequence of what we find we continue to have concerns, then it will be necessary for us to seek a new inquest by means of legal process.

“Details relevant to the cause of death could then be discussed in court, but if they are not relevant then they will not,” concluded Dr Powers.

 One thing is certain, though. In the meantime – until Sir John or a member of his committee takes the initiative to break down the secrecy barrier erected by Lord Hutton – no ordinary member of the public can be expected to believe 100 per cent that Dr Kelly did take his own life. There will always be suspicion that he became an unwilling and unwitting victim of the Iraq War.

Justified secrecy? I think not.

FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE

Bumped into Defence Secretary Bob Ainsworth (aka Big Bob) in the pub the other day and thought I’d attempt to have a civilised chat with him over a pint.

Me: “Fancy a pint, Bob?”

Big Bob: “Why? Is it May 6 already?”

Me: “You what? How about a pint of lager, then?”

BB: “Only if they’ve got Kronenbourg May 6 1664.”

Me:  “OK Big Bob – you’re in luck! Cheers! Don’t suppose you know the date of the General Election, do you?”

BB: “Nah! Gord won’t tell anyone.”

Me: “Well, what’s all this May 6 malarkey then, big man?”

BB: “May 6? Oh, that’s when I start my treatment for ‘foot in mouth’!”

 Doh!

CHEAP NOVEL TWIST

Martin Amis may be a great novelist but he appears to have completely lost the plot after advocating that ‘euthanasia booths’ should be established on street corners – so that the elderly can do away with themselves to prevent what he describes as an ageing population placing an impossible burden on society.

Well, that’s very caring and thoughtful of you Martin now that you have reached the grand old age of 60. But what prompted you to come out with such a controversial and odious idea in the first place?

Ah! Could it be because there’s a new book in the offing? ‘The Pregnant Widow’? Out next month? Oh yes, now we all get your drift! Call me a cynic, but it’s a sure-fire way of gaining a bit of free national publicity, isn’t it? Well done (not)! 

Or as Alistair Thompson, of the anti-euthanasia group Care Not Killing put it: “There is a very nasty smell about using this to promote a book.

“There is a very nasty smell that someone as high profile as Martin Amis could actually make such a ludicrous proposal,” he added.

And so say all of us – a good novelist does not need to resort to such base shock tactics for the sake of cheap publicity.

 PC MAD

How abso-bl**dy-lutely ridiculous! Apparently adverts seeking to fill staff vacancies must not include the words ‘reliable’ or ‘hardworking’ – just in case it upsets, erm … unreliable slackers – well, they are the only ones that might be offended, aren’t they?!

That’s what recruitment agency boss Nicole Mamo was told when she phoned up the Jobcentre in Thetford, Norfolk, to check that her online advert for a £5.80 per hour hospital domestic cleaner was all ‘shipshape and PC fashion’.

“In my 15 years in recruitment I haven’t heard anything so ridiculous,” said Mrs Mamo, who runs Devonwood Recruitment. “If the matter wasn’t so serious I would be laughing out loud.

“Unfortunately, it’s extremely alarming. I need people who are hardworking and reliable – and I’m pleased to discriminate in that way. If they’re not, I really can’t use them.

“Even the woman at the jobcentre agreed it was ridiculous but explained it was policy because they could get sued for being discriminatory against unreliable people.”

A spokesman for the Equality and Human Rights Commission said: “This is in no way in breach of any discrimination law. Mrs Mamo should consider very unreliable any advice that she may have received implying that this aspect of her advert was discriminatory.”

So, take note Thetford Jobcentre!

Oh, well, to all you ‘unreliable slackers’ out there, cheers for now – and have a great weekend!