‘I hope me mam don’t hear this!’

These are the words of Lady GaGa as t5m catches up with her backstage at the Nokia 5800 launch.

She reveals her influences include David Bowie, Grace Jones, Madonna and Leigh Bowery and is presented with a pair of handmade sunglasses courtesy of our reporter Jules.

It’s a reoccurring injury, he reveals, first suffered when he set up ‘Lemon Aid’ – where he ‘took divvies white water rafting once a year.’

It returned when his interfering with a kangaroo ended in a ‘grapple’ between the two beasts.

On the days his seamstress let him down, he would fill in: ‘I’ll have a go at anything me.’ But people often complained of one leg being a different width to the other.

‘They encapsulated both looks, you’ve got ragamuffin on one leg and on the other you’ve got emo.’

From jeans, he made the obvious move into security where he patented and branded the poles often seen in supermarket car parks.

He is taken by the puppet our presenter has made especially for him and tells us: ‘I might patent this myself and you’ll get it with my free workout DVD – it’s called Keiff Fit!’

Keiff being the proper pronunciation of Keith, of course.

Check out his puppet Moonwalk and Jamiroquai ‘glide.’

Before offering his sympathies to both Woolworths and Kelly Brook – who according to Keith, was sacked from Britain’s Got Talent for being ‘Wack.’

As for his favourite phrase ‘bang tidy’? ‘It just means good I think.’

He tells us he’d be ‘up for’ Strictly Come Dancing and says his best dance move is the windmill – one he used to perform as a boy.

He met his match in Britain’s Got Talent winner George Sampson though: ‘He outdid me when he started spinning on his eyeballs.’

Beckoning Brits back to the dance floor, Nokia Tube has produced a viral with George, Keith and VV, which is a unique guide to dancing the Nokia Tube, taking viewers through the moves in a not-to-be-missed video which can be viewed at www.nokiatubedance.com 

Nokia Tube also brings to the UK its first ever touch-activated light up dance floor in a series of Nokia Tube Nights, which will see the dance floor touring nightclubs in London, Newcastle, Cardiff, Manchester, Birmingham and Leeds throughout January and February. Each event will see hundreds of people taking to the huge 6 metre squared Nokia Tube dance floor, putting themselves through their paces in a bid perfect their own Tube dance. Like the Nokia 5800 handset, each Nokia Tube Night will fuse light, sound and touch activated technology to create the ultimate dance experience.

A ‘huge house fan,’ she says the B-25s’ infectious Love Shack is guaranteed to get her moving. Reluctant to show us her ‘very goofy dance’ though, she claims her height is to blame for these ‘extraordinary and weird moves.’

‘I’ve got to try and keep my balance ’cause I’m so tall!’