Crikey! It’s Steve Irwin Day

So, once again it’s ‘Steve Irwin Day’ – an official day of remembrance for the crazy Aussie conservationist who met an untimely watery death in 2006. This year’s biggest commemorative gesture is the official naming of a newfound Australian snail species ‘Crikey Steveirwini’ (!)

My own personal gesture is to write this blog entry as I was fortunate enough to meet and interview the man a few years before he died, and this year finally made the pilgrimage to his Australia Zoo in Queensland, where wife Terri and daughter Bindi are still at large around the croc enclosures.

For anyone who’s been living under a rock for the past decade like silver-tailed scorpions, Steve was the Discovery Channel’s greatest discovery and drawcard, his Crocodile Hunter programme becoming the pinnacle of zoological entertainment watched by half a billion viewers in almost 150 countries.

His legendary TV antics will never be forgotten: grappling venom-spitting “super-aggressive” snakes and poking sticks into the nests of “crazy-toxic” spiders, all the while cooing terms of endearment like “crikey, what a little beauty!” or “easy, you cute little fella?”. And of course chasing fully-grown crocodiles along riverbanks and diving onto them in murky creeks before somehow wrestling the shocked beasts into his little wooden boat. Steve was the only thing crocs were scared of – the bogeyman they warned their baby croclets about.

Luckily for them, the wildlife warrior finally came a cropper after being fatally pierced by a stingray barb, ironically while filming his latest documentary ‘Ocean’s Deadliest’ at the Great Barrier Reef. There followed stingray pogroms on Queensland’s beaches in which the creatures were found dead and mutilated by moronic vengeful fans.

I reported on all of this while writing for an Australian magazine at the time, for which I conducted the interview after  arranging to meet Steve, fittingly, at London Zoo. I will never forget greeting him in the flesh and seeing with my own eyes that it wasn’t an act, that he was exactly the way he was in his TV programmes – a wide-eyed over-animated nutcase in khakis, who couldn’t sit still and answered each question as if it was the most pertinent question he’d ever heard.

What was so ironic about the whole interview to this day was the answers that he delivered so passionately on fear, reincarnation and how he’ll never come to serious harm at the hands of dangerous animals – how these words haunted me in the days following his demise, and nowadays make me smile guiltily to myself, especially when Steve Irwin Day rolls around again. Here is an abridged version of that interview:

KG: What, if anything, are you scared of?
SI: Fear’s a natural thing that keeps us alive. Animals don’t frighten me. I’m more afraid of people and the dark cloud of terrorism.

KG: What about flying?
SI: Flying certainly makes you aware of your vulnerability, particularly as we film in some fairly remote areas.

KG: And getting eaten by a crocodile?
SI: I was born into wildlife, mate. I can handle them easily. People find it unbelievable but I’m not crazy – just so well-rehearsed that I’ve complete confidence in what I’m doing. Look at firemen and electricians – electricity can kill you quicker than a croc, no ifs or buts. One flash and you’re ash! A sparky will take plenty of zaps on his way to becoming fully qualified. Pain teaches you quickly. Once bitten, twice shy – I’ve lived my life by that rule.

KG: What was the scariest non-croc moment of your life?
SI: That’d be my wedding day! I’m standing there in a tuxedo with this tight thing around my neck. I’ll tell you what, I’d rather have a boa constrictor coiled around me. Suits – there’s too much stiff in them? I’ll never wear one again. Gimme some good khakis any day.

KG: What has the deadliest venom in the world?
SI: The box jellyfish lurks around our northern waters with the most toxic venom known to man. You don’t wanna mess with that little beauty!

KG: If given a reincarnational choice, what would you come back as?
SI: An Australian saltwater croc. No one would dare muck with me…

So, there you have it – Steve Irwin may be alive and well and floating around an Australian swamp. Crikey!

Thanks for the interview mate, and steer clear of those pesky stingrays…