I saw a lot of terrible films this year, and these are some of the worst. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t enjoyable of course, and I take quite a bit of pleasure from watching a bad film. They’re in no particular order, and there are links to any that I reviewed in full. Enjoy!
Rome itself was the sole highlight of this absolute shocker. I enjoyed how the scientists at the CERN Large Hadron Collider were portrayed as being a bit iffy about the science behind their experiments. Relentlessly idiotic.
Dragonball: Evolution
Did anyone else watch this? This is the best film of the year based on a Japanese anime series…oh wait, that would be Blood: The Last Vampire (see below). 80 minutes of big hair, American accents and rubbish special effects.
Some excellent action set pieces were the only draw in this otherwise joyless rehash of a once classic franchise. I wonder if McG will make the fourth film in the inevitable parade of Avatar sequels?
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
An obvious choice perhaps, but this one is too bad to go unmentioned. The sound effects were good, but everything else was an unintelligible blur. That didn’t stop it making millions and ensuring that the 3rd movie in the franchise is on its way.
A British horror movie that didn’t quite emphasise its funny side enough. I enjoyed it, but it is far from a good film.
I Love You Man
2008/9 was the age of the Bromance (Role Models, Funny People, Forgetting Sarah Marshal etc) though I Love You Man failed to strike a chord with me, becoming irritating rather than entertaining. Other than Paul Rudd’s Rasta accent the laughs are predictable and sporadic.
Knowing
I have a hard time distinguishing between Knowing and The Day The Earth Stood Still, which was released at the end of 2008. Both are apocalyptic, both have aliens and both feature aging action stars (Nicholas Cage and Keanu Reeves respectively). The Day The Earth Stood Still was probably my least favourite, but the religious message and the portrayal of non-believers in Knowing got up my nose.
It was nice to see so many British actors play American parts in this low budget live action adaptation of another animated Japanese franchise. But CGI blood and terrible accents does not a good movie make. Avoid.
Bolt 3D
Disney plus CGI minus Pixar equals no fun for grown-ups. A good example of why hiring movie stars to do voice over work is not going to produce mass appeal or a decent finished product.
Arguably the worst Hollywood remake of an Asian horror film to date. So much of the impact of the twist and the subtlety of the style was lost in translation. Watch Orphan if you want a good horror film that doesn’t require subtitles.
The longlist: The Taking of Pelham 123, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Land of the Lost. Oh, and Street Kings sucked, but that was released in 2008. If you want further justification of the choices check out some of the full reviews.
Thoughts?
a.b.
3 months ago
BOLT had a heck of an unfortunate pedigree, no real pun intended, given the fact that more than two-thirds of the film were scrapped and remade late into production. All of that said, I think it was an okay movie.