You may be one of the people who, over the years, have asked me how to deal with formal dinners. Accepting the invite, figuring out whether you can or cannot bring a guest, is all pretty easy. Dress code is a tricky bit, especially since not every invite is all that clear about it or even using the right terminology to describe what they are looking for. In those cases it is always best to double-check with the host.
The real cliff hanger for all of us attending dinner parties is the person we end up sitting next to. My experiences are about fifty fifty, half of the dinners I attend I sit next to really interesting and entertaining people, the other half the match is not quite so lucky.
When asked, most people do not know how to deal with the not-so-lucky match. The worst case scenario’s have been described as: sitting next to someone who talks about him or herself without a single break, being placed next to the quietest, most non responsive person in the room and, sitting next to someone you just don’t warm to.
All terrible, but let’s face it, dinner parties rarely last more then 3 to 4 hours. Too short to really ruin your live but long enough to establish a nice connection with anyone.
When faced with the un-wished-for table partner there is only one thing to do: switch on the charm and take control! The person who only talks about himself or herself is easily distracted off course by your careful listening and poignant questions. Genuine attention and softening your voice often work well in winning the trust of someone who is naturally quiet, and humour builds bridges between all people, even those you do not warm to at first glance.
My advise is to attend dinners for your own pleasure and that of your host. Being affected by something as temporarily as the person next to you is a great shame and may rob you from making an interesting new connection.
